Fermilab TodayFriday, April 1, 2005  
April Fools' Edition
National Telecom Appreciation Day
In honor of National Telecom Appreciation Day, the Fermilab Telecommmunications Office will be serving free coffee and donuts on the 5th floor of Wilson Hall all day. The first 25 people to stop by will receive a free cell phone.

Friday, April 1
3:30 p.m. DIRECTOR'S LADIES NIGHT - 2nd Flr X-Over
4:00 p.m. Joint Experimental Theoretical Physics Seminar - 1 West
Speaker: R. Schwienhorst, Michigan State University
Title: The Top Quark: Time to Move On

Monday, April 5
12:00 p.m. Brown Bag Lunch - 1 West
Levitation for Self Defense
Speaker: David Blaine
2:30 p.m. Particle Astrophysics Seminar - Curia II
Speaker: H. Morrison, Case Western Reserve University
Title: WH2's Surprising Old Populations

 This one is for Beth!
 Don't go changing, to try and please me
 You never let me down before
Don't imagine you're too familiar
And I don't see you anymore
I wouldn't leave you in times of trouble
We never could have come this far
I took the good times, I'll take the bad times
I'll take you just the way you are
Don't go trying some new fashion
Don't change the color of your hair
You always have my unspoken passion
Although I might not seem to care 

I don't want clever conversation
I never want to work that hard
I just want someone that I can talk to
I want you just the way you are. 

I need to know that you will always be
The same old someone that I knew
What will it take 'till you believe in me
The way that I believe in you. 

I said I love you, and that's forever
And this I promise from the heart
I could not love you any better
I love you just the way you are.
3:30 p.m. DIRECTOR'S KARAOKE BREAK - 2nd Flr. X-Over
4:00 p.m. All Experimenters' Meeting - Curia II
Special Topics: PPAs: New Escort Service for DZero and CDF
Tevatron Operator Lifetimes
Electron Heating: Untapped Potential

Weather Blizzard Conditions -5º/0º

Extended Forecast

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Secon Level 3

Friday, April 1
Guest Chef: Charlie Trotter presents his all foie gras tasting menu $3.95

The Wilson Hall Cafe now accepts Monopoly Money at Cash Register #1.

Wilson Hall Cafe Menu
Chez Leon is now open. Call x4512 to make your reservation.

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FESS Boosts Tevatron with Power Upgrade
Power Upgrade
The Tevatron's two-prong power source (top) will be upgraded to three-prongs.(Click on image for larger version.)
In an effort to increase power in the Tevatron, FESS announced last week an electrical upgrade for the accelerator complex. The Tevatron currently connects to the power grid with a two-prong plug, but experts agree that it is time that Fermilab upgraded to a three-prong plug.

"We had many reviews to discuss the potential upgrade, and we think that it is time," said FESS Head Dave Nevin. "I feel very confident that we are making the right decision for the better of the lab."

Nevin explained that the Tevatron Power Upgrade Committee started looking into the power upgrade in early 2004. After a series of reviews with officials from the DOE, the consensus was unanimous to proceed with the proposed upgrade. FESS predicts that the upgrade will increase power to the Tevatron by 33 percent.

"We are going to start implementing the new plan right away," said Nevin. "We hope to complete the upgrade by the end of 2005." A 90-page report outlining the upgrade will be made available online within the next couple of weeks.
- Elizabeth Clements

Accelerator Update
Combo Platter (Combination Store)
If you walked into a restaurant and asked for a combo platter, you might get two or three different entrées. Now, if you walked into the Main Control Room and asked for a combo platter, you'd get two similar entrées from two different restaurants and another entrée from a third restaurant.

Well, not really, but the analogy is amazingly close.

Any laboratory can serve up protons, but our specialty is antiprotons, and the serving waiter is the Main Injector, which coordinates the meal. The Linac/Booster cooks up the protons and gives them to the waiter, who then passes them on to restaurant number one, the Antiproton Source.
read more

Read the Current Accelerator Update
Read the Early Bird Report
View the Tevatron Luminosity Charts

In the News
From UCD Advocate, March 30, 2005
Indie scientists create new, ultradense superirony
By John Zwick
IIRS scientists hard at work between viewings of Labyrinth and Saved by the Bell reruns.

Researchers at the Institute of Indie Rock and Science (IIRS) startled the worlds of theoretical physics and youth culture with their announcement of the discovery of a new, superdense form of irony responsible for everything from the now-dead trucker hat fandom to the most cutting-edge of art and music.

The results have created a buzz in the field of indie rock physics as researchers speculate about the Beck iRon's role in the Higgs-Malkmus Theory of Ironic Matter. It takes years of theoretical physics and built-up scene cred to fully grasp the theory, but Heisenberg attempted to explain it in layman's terms.
read more

What's Up with the IOC?
Olympic Committee Seeks Bid from Fermilab
Will the 2012 Summer Olympic Games be at Fermilab? (Click on image for larger version.)
Declaring themselves "underwhelmed" by bids from London, Paris and New York to host the 2012 Summer Olympic Games, the International Olympic Committee has asked DOE's Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory to submit a bid to host the games.

"Fermilab has much to offer," said IOC President Jacques Rogge, of Belgium. "The Tevatron and Main Injector rings would be an unparalleled venue for track events, and the lab already has an Olympic-sized pool and a Village. As for field events, Fermilab is almost nothing BUT field. Frankly, none of the bids we have received so far can compare."

Officials from DOE and Fermilab said they were pleased by the invitation, although no final decision on a bid had been reached.

"It is true that developing a bid for the 2012 Games would entail some effort," said Fermilab Director Michael Witherell, "but I doubt that it would be more complicated than preparing for the average Lehman review. Fermilab's expertise is in planning and building big projects for international users, so a bid for the 2012 games would be a logical step."

Witherell cautioned Fermilab employees about offering special inducements, such as Fermilab rulers or baseball caps, to IOC committee members.

"They'll decide on the merits," Witherell said. "If we decide to go forward, I think Fermilab will stand an excellent chance."

Olympic Running Track
The Tevatron makes an ideal running track. (Click on image for larger version.)
- Judy Jackson

Dealing with Difficult People Seminar Booked
Due to high demand, Lab Services' weekly seminar, "Dealing with Difficult People" is completely filled. If you would like your name placed on a waiting list for the next available seminar in 2007, please send an email to bugoff@fnal.gov.

Fermilab Film Series
The Fermilab Film Series will feature a double feature of White Chicks and Eurotrip on Friday, April 1 at 8:00 p.m. in Ramsey Auditorium.

Poetry Reading in Cafeteria Today
Peter Kasper will hold a lunchtime poetry reading in the cafeteria today at noon, featuring his own ornithological verse.

Recreation Office Offers NASCAR Driving Classes
Fermilab's Recreation Office will offer NASCAR driving classes on the main ring. This ten-week class starts on May 3 and ends on July 5. Deadline to register is April 15. Racing cars will be provided.

New Classifieds on Fermilab Today
New classified ads have been posted on Fermilab Today. A permanent link to the classifieds is located in the bottom left corner of Fermilab Today.

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