Fermilab TodayThursday, April 1, 2004  
April Fools' Edition
National Computer Support Day
In honor of National Computer Support Day the Fermilab Help Desk will be serving free coffee and donuts on the 8th floor of Wilson Hall all day.

Thursday, April 1
Noon Brown Bag Seminar - One West
Speaker: Marcel Marceau
Title: Better Communicating Through Silence
2:30 p.m. Theoretical Physics Seminar - Curia II
Speaker: H. Murayama, Institute for Advanced Study
Title: World Domination Plan by Anomaly Mediation
3:30 p.m. Director's Happy Hour - 2nd Flr X-Over

Friday, April 2
3:30 p.m. Director's Champagne Toast - 2nd Flr X-Over (Black tie optional)
4:00 p.m. Joint Experimental Theoretical Physics Seminar - 1 West
Speaker: S. Rolli, Tufts University
Title: World Domination Plan by CDF

Thursday, April 1
Caviar service with blini/Vodka flight $3.50
Lobster fra diavolo $4.75
Fresh foie gras with fig confiture $2.50
Souffle Grand Marnier $3.25

Eurest Dining Center Weekly Menu
Chez Leon
WeatherSunny 85º/70º

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Following Successful Pilot, DOE Decrees Tents for Overnight Fermilab Stays
Robin Staffin
Robin Staffin, director of the Office of High Energy Physics, successfully piloted the Fermilab Tenting Initiative (FTI). (Click on image for larger version.)
In a move that promises significant savings for Office of Science, the Department of Energy has instructed DOE officials traveling to Fermilab for business that involves overnight stays to pitch tents on the Fermilab site.

"There's plenty of room at Fermilab," said Office of Science Director Dr. Raymond S. Orbach. "We might as well take advantage of it. Robin Staffin, director of the Office of High Energy Physics, successfully piloted the Fermilab Tenting Initiative (FTI) last spring, and I have decided to make it official policy. If it continues to work well at Fermilab, I may extend the FTI to other sites."

DOE's Dan Lehman welcomed the move.

"This should significantly reduce the cost of Fermilab reviews," Lehman told Fermilab Today. He dismissed concerns about the effects of sub-freezing temperatures, mosquitoes and tornadoes on DOE staff. "They can take it," Lehman said. "If they can sit through a Fermilab review, a few mosquitoes aren't going to bother them. If we realize sufficient savings from Camp Tevatron, we may actually be able to schedule more reviews at Fermilab each year."

Staff members of Fermilab's Roads and Grounds Department report that they have already begun receiving reservation requests for camp sites at the laboratory.

"They're going fast," said Fermilab's Mike Becker. "I would advise people to reserve early for some of the better areas."

Accelerator Update
March 29 - April 1
- During this period Operations established one store. That store along with an existing store provided approximately 420E30 of luminosity to the experiments, well it is only an approximation after all.
- The MiniBooNE experiment disappears into an orange ball of plasma
- Tevatron Power supplies threaten to call for a strike vote.
- The infamous Lisbon earthquake causes Tevatron quench
- The TeV hits record luminosity, or maybe not depending on who you believe
- Raccoons surround the Kautz Road substation

View the current accelerator update
View the Tevatron Luminosity Charts

In the News
From The Onion, March 30, 2004
Scientist Has Nagging Feeling He Left Particle Accelerator On
CHICAGO—University of Chicago particle physicist Matthew Sharp drove halfway home before he was struck with the fear that he'd left the Argonne Tandem Linac Accelerator System running Tuesday night. "I think I powered it down after smashing those 9-GeV electrons into 3.1-GeV positrons, but I don't specifically remember flipping the switch," Sharp said. "Not only does a nine million volt electrostatic tandem Van de Graaff injector accelerator cost a lot to run; it's also a pretty serious fire hazard." Sharp almost turned his car around, but didn't, because the past three times he's gone back to check on the accelerator, he's found it off.
read more

Fermilab Result of the Week
DZero Confirms Increased Caffeine Intake Leads to Longer Meetings
DZero Result of the Week
Meetings per week vs. approved results under an increased intake of caffeine. (Click on image for larger version.)
The D-Zero collaboration today revealed preliminary results from a study that used physicists, rather than particle collisions, as the subjects of investigation. Large collaborations that operate particle physics experiments provide controlled populations that make ideal test populations. The study, undertaken in collaboration with beverage scientists from the Ohio Institute of Food Additives, measured the impact of caffeine intake on scientific productivity.

For the past three months, during which time DZero mounted an intense effort to bring out new results for upcoming international conferences, a double blind beverage study was undertaken. Vending machines were modified so that either caffeinated or caffeine-free sodas could be dispensed, unknown to the purchaser, by a hidden operator. Three of the six physics groups at DZero received only caffeinated drinks; the other three received caffeine-free beverages. (Coffee-intake backgrounds had to be corrected for later.)

The results proved hard to interpret. The "caffeinated" physics groups worked harder for longer hours than "decaffeinated" groups, but their meetings were more contentious. Ultimately they were unable to agree on many results. High sugar and nutra-sweet intake among the subjects also complicated the interpretation. The lead investigator, Professor Pepper, believes that while the approach of using physicists as subjects has promise, the background level of caffeine intake may simply be too high to draw useful conclusions in this study. He plans to continue his research by investigating the efficacy of prayer in a cloistered order of monks, who will randomly receive either alcoholic or alcohol-free sacramental wine.
Result of the Week Archive

Fermilab Book Club
The Fermilab Book Club is currently reading, "Modifications to DOE Policies for Property Procurement." Join a lively discussion of this DOE classic. Contact the Fermilab Library for more information.

Water Polo Club Meets Today at Swan Lake
Join Fermilab's Water Polo Club today at noon at Swan Lake. No experience necessary.

Gallery Chamber Series Presents Snoop Dogg and Eminem
The Fermilab Gallery Chamber Series presents Snoop Doggy Dogg and Eminem on Sunday, April 4 in the Art Gallery in Wilson Hall. Limited tickets are available!

Coming Soon: PTOW
Fermilab's Office of Public Affairs introduces Pets to Work day. The PTOW sub committee is currently planning a fun-filled day for you and your pet. Announcements will be made shortly about a date and PTOW activities.

Recreation Office Offers World Wrestling Entertainment Course
Recreation Office Offers World Wrestling Entertainment Course Learn how to wrestle like the pros! Fermilab's Recreation Office offers a one-time only World Wrestling Entertainment course today at noon in One North!

Fermilab Today