Fermilab Today March 24 - March 28, 2014

Fermilab Today Announcements

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Upgraded coffee and cookies to be served at Director's Coffee Break
The employees have spoken: It's time to get better cookies and coffee for the director's coffee breaks. We have complied with upgraded coffee and cookies. Don't say we don't listen!

Name change from Fermilab to FermiLab effective April 16
Everyone spells it "FermiLab" anyway. The Director's Office has decided to officially change the laboratory name abbreviation from "Fermilab" to "FermiLab." The new graphics standards will be affected by this change. Stay tuned for an update to the FermiLab logo. (NB: Those defeated in the 20-to-18 vote note with alarm the rapidly spreading trend of fusing two words while preserving the capitalization of the second. They plan to petition PBS NewsHour, DailyCandy and LiveScience to lead the way in reversing this trend.)

La-di-da: Gourmet coffee now to be served at Director's Coffee Break
Our latest attempt to satisfy the coffee break consumers fell short. In response to the demand for high-quality treats, we will serve only gourmet coffee at the director's coffee breaks. We hear you!!

Wilson Hall roof construction
For the duration of the installation of the fiery eye on top of Wilson Hall, it is unsafe to look directly into it or in the direction of the top of Wilson Hall. Those practicing the Bates method of therapy are advised that staring at The Eye is orders of magnitude more dangerous than staring at the sun.

Colloquium speakers Mucca Pazza in Ramsey Auditorium - April 5
Mucca Pazza, Chicago's punk marching band, performs in Ramsey Auditorium for one night only on Saturday, April 5, at 8 p.m. Mucca Pazza is the marching band that thinks it's a rock 'n roll band — a collection of shameless band nerds wielding instruments of incongruous traditions, sometimes in competition, often in cooperation. They play everywhere: from punk venues to orchestral halls, from public parks to public radio, from diva palaces to dive bars. Some have called them “circus punk,” some say they’re “geek love,” but no one calls them dull. Don't miss them!

Cupcakes too plebeian: Espresso and made-to-order French pastries to be served at Director's Coffee Break
Nothing's too good for the director's coffee breaks. You ask for espresso, we give you espresso. You ask for custom pastries, we give you custom pastries. You ask for it, we deliver!!!

Lunch and Learn: Crunch and Burn - April 8
Ever wanted to try eating and exercising at the same time? Now's your chance. Our next Lunch and Learn seminar is going to be a workout: Lunch on your favorite sandwich while you crunch your way to a six-pack. Learn to achieve net-zero energy while you burn through the calories you're consuming. Join the revolution by walking in the rotating door of calorie intake and output.

Office Etiquette Course - April 8-9
Have a rowdy officemate? Maybe he talks on the phone too loudly. Maybe she leaves her chair out when she leaves her desk. Sign your officemate up for the latest addition to the WDRS roster of professional development courses: Office Etiquette. You'll be glad you did.

Desserts banned: Sushi bar to be installed as regular part of Director's Coffee Break
Why didn't we think of this? What could be better than fine Japanese finger food at the director's coffee breaks? We understand where you're coming from — you want healthy snacks. Sushi rolls will be served instead of coffee and sweets at the director's coffee breaks from now on. We've got your back. Coffee breaks don't get better than this. They just don't. This is as good as it's going to get. This is it. !!!!