Halloween 2013

Have a spooky day!

Thursday, Oct. 31

11 a.m.
Intensity Frontier Seminar - Dungeon
Speaker: Dr. Acula, PLAC
Title: Muon Death and Decay

2:30 p.m.
Theoretical Physics Seminar - Snake Pit
Speaker: Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, University of London
Title: Discussion of neutrinos' identity crisis

3 p.m.
Riding Club to induct new group leader - Black Hole
Prof. I. Crane, Sleepy Hollow Institute

3:30 p.m.

Friday, Nov. 1

3:30 p.m.
WITCH'S BREW BREAK - 13th Flr X-Over

4 p.m.
Joint Experimental-Theoretical Physics Seminar - The Catacombs
Speaker: Freddy Krueger, Elm Street Institute
Title: First Results from the Haunted Dark Matter Search

Click here for BATCAT,
a weekly calendar with links to eldritch information.

Ongoing and upcoming séances at Fermilab


Take Five, or else

Weather Heavy storms and howling winds

Extended forecast
Weather at Fermilab

Current Security Status

High risk of curses and bewitchment

Current Trick or Treat Status


Wilson Hall Cafe

Thursday, Oct. 31

- Breakfast: pumpkin fritters and spider legs
- Breakfast: bacon, egg and cheese with Transylvania toast
- Monster mash potatoes
- Smart cuisine: corn on the macabre
- Wolfman's meatloaf
- Spicy eye of newt wrap
- Roast crow on a stick
- Mystery chili, served in a cauldron
- Five-pound sacks of candy

Wilson Hall Cafe menu

Chez des Morts

Friday, Nov. 1
Menu undead; check back later

Wednesday, Nov. 6
Menu undead; check back later

Chez de Mort menu
Call xMORT to make your reservation.


Fermilab Today

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Holometer team develops new laser-based cutting technique

Ray Tomlin tunes the laser in the Holometer lab. Photo: "Headless" Reidar Hahn

Just in time for Halloween, Fermilab's Holometer collaboration has finished the first test run of a new laser-based technique to cut materials with soft tissue and hard surfaces.

Experimenting in the Holometer laser lab located near the Meson Building, Ray Tomlin and his colleagues successfully used a 2,000-watt laser to cut intricate patterns into leather, pumpkins and candy bars.

"We are thrilled," said Aaron Chou, who is the spokesperson for the Holometer collaboration. "We've spent months tuning the laser and eliminating background noise. Now we finally are in a position to demonstrate that our laser is ready to test the fabric of the universe and cut leather for a suit."

Originally designed to look for the structure of space at the smallest scales, the precision laser displayed its extraordinary qualities when collaboration member Ray Tomlin put on his safety glasses and placed an apple into the laser beam. Within seconds, the laser produced perfectly shaped apple slices, and the scent of apple cider spread across the lab.

"I will never forget that moment," Tomlin said. "My colleagues handed me the caramel dip, and it was heaven."

Fermilab employees interested in learning more about this laser application are invited to attend a cutting demonstration at 8 p.m. tonight, Oct. 31, at the laser lab. The Holometer team would appreciate if attendees brought extra pumpkins and candy.

Kurt EEEE!sselmann


CMS uncovers the elusive pumpkin particle

The CMS experiment has seen evidence of one of the rarest interactions in particle physics: the pumpkin-flavor phenomenon pictured above. In most cases of the illustrated interaction, two pairs of pumpkin particles are released: a jack-o-lantern with a Cinderella squash and two common round varieties. In even rarer instances, the interacting particles may decay into delicious pies. Image: Grim Pivarski, Scare-ah Witman

Strange creatures sighted on Fermilab site

Local ecologists are excited to investigate reports of a possible new species that roams the Fermilab site at night. Photo: "Headless" Reidar Hahn

In the past three decades, the state of Illinois has not received a single report of a coyote attacking a human. However, just this month, several employees and visitors have reported being bitten or scratched by a coyote-like animal on site. Neighbors have reported unusual howling sounds coming from the woods at night and a small uptick in missing pets at certain times of the month.

The situation is under investigation, but until ecologists can put together a full report, employees and visitors are advised to avoid all wild animals in the canine family, particularly ones that:

1. Seem to be larger than a typical coyote, with a squared muzzle and shorter, rounded ears.

2. Howl instead of yip or yelp.

3. Seem to appear out of nowhere after a cloud shifts, revealing a full moon.

4. Seem to be wearing ripped clothing or even glasses.

5. Walk on hind legs.

6. Bear a strange resemblance to a neighbor or coworker.

Remember: You are our eyes and ears on the site. Please report all incidents to Fermilab ecology, and, in the event of an encounter with such a creature, please note the timing on a lunar calendar and visit Fermilab medical during daylight hours.

Kat-eye Jepsen

In the News

Mini pumpkin collider

From Blogspot.com, Oct. 27, 2013

Today my partner brought home a pumpkin to carve for Halloween. Since I've never carved a pumpkin before (I know! How sad!) he left the decision of what to carve up to me.

So I did what every sensible person does and asked on Twitter what I should carve, which revealed the design of DNA. But that's biology. I'm a physicist.

But it got me thinking ... this year's most welcome news in my field was the recent awarding of the Nobel Prize to Higgs and Englert. Well, there was only one thing I could carve. Dear readers, I present you with my very own Mini Pumpkin Collider!

Read more

Tip of the Week: Safety

Stay alert to withstand zombie attacks

Several Fermilab physicists keep an eye out for roving herds of zombies. Zombies are known to attack via ambush tactics. Fermilab safety experts agree that every small precaution goes a long way. Photo: "Headless" Reidar Hahn

Here at Fermilab, attacks by raging hordes of the undead are rare. But it is still important to remain up to date on the latest zombie safety techniques. Following these simple procedures will ensure that you and your co-workers remain uninfected by any zombie plague that spreads across the world, reanimating the dead and filling them with a blind brain-lust.

  • Watch for signs of zombie incursion. Those signs may include the tortured screams of innocent victims, a low-pitched growling sound emanating from the woods or the smell of decaying flesh. Do not rely on the Centers for Disease Control to alert you to zombie plague outbreaks.
  • Wear your personal protective equipment. This includes goggles to prevent infectious zombie blood from getting in the eyes and heavy work gloves to stave off zombie bites. Face masks are not necessary, since zombie plagues can rarely be transmitted through the air.
  • Barricading doors and windows is helpful, but will only hold off the undead for a few minutes at most. Know your exit routes, and be sure they are clear of zombies before using them.
  • Teamwork is often necessary to coordinate an effective escape. In the event of an incursion, emergency wardens are responsible for creating diversions to throw off the zombie hordes.
  • Remember: To end the undead, aim for the head!

Keep these tips in mind, and you, too, may survive the zombie apocalypse. Be safe!

Andre "Head Shot" Salles

Photo of the Day

Wilson Hall spellbinding in moonlight

A lone witch takes flight across the moon, paying solitary tribute to particle physics this Halloween. Photo: "Headless" Reidar Hahn, Scare-ah Witman
In Brief

Bare bones

The six members of Fermilab's bare-bones "skeleton crew." Image: Scare-ah Witman

During the recent government shutdown, Fermilab management had the opportunity to put together a "skeleton crew" that would run the lab in the event of a labwide shutdown. Although the lab was able to remain in operation, the would-be crew got together this week for a fun-filled group photo, shown above.

Scare-ah Witman

In the News

Horrifying doll sitting on neighbor's porch whether it's Halloween or not

From The Onion, Oct. 24, 2013

This week's installment of News in Photos.

Read more


Today's New Announcements

'Track or Treat' haunted health classes start today

Costume contest - today on WH15

Garden club tends to pumpkin patch - today

Fermilab Halloween Party - Nov. 1

Addams Family annual gathering at Kuhn Barn - Nov. 2

Broom care and maintenance workshop - Nov. 2

Egypt's muon mummy to arise from the crypt - Nov. 5

Fermilab walk-in blood drive, sponsored by Vampire Wellness Group - Nov. 5 and 6

Black Knight moves for no man - Nov. 6

ELM Committee invites employees to get lost in lab's corn maze